Falling Away Read online

  Copyright © 2013 Devon Ashley

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the author.

  This is a work of fiction. Any similarities within are purely coincidental. Fonts used in this novel (Pea Ninh, Pea Faith, Pea The Bees In Love Doodles and A Little Pot) courtesy of kevinandamanda.com.

  First Published February 2013

  ISBN-13: 9781475132830

  ISBN 1475132832

  Visit http://devonashleywrites.blogspot.com

  “I can feel you watching me.”

  He chuckled, and the bed sank the tiniest bit as he leaned over to kiss my forehead softly. Robert’s hand was atop mine on my stomach, gently stroking the tops of my fingers. “Sorry. It’s just rare to actually see you when I wake up in the morning.”

  Smiling, I murmured, “You could always quit swimming and those stupid five A.M. practices.”

  He ignored me ‘cause we both knew that would never happen, I just liked to tease him when he brought up our lack of time together.

  “Did you know your nose twitches when you sleep? Kind of like a squirrel.”

  I huffed under my breath. My lips pursed and my free hand swatted, but I hit nothing but air. I still hadn’t opened my eyes, not wanting to give up on a rare morning of sleeping in. Light permeated my eyelids, ruining the darkness I craved to fall back asleep. We’d left the windows cracked last night, so a soothing chorus sung by several chickadees drifted in.

  Robert’s hand trailed away from mine, and the cool air licked the warmth away. A second later he poked my side. Then again.

  “Stop it,” I muttered. Poke. “Stop it.” Poke. I swatted several times, this time finding an arm.

  Well, that did it. He launched into a full tickle assault against my waist. I yelped and rolled sideways, playfully slapping at his hands, trying to quiet the giggles to keep from waking Sophie and Jhett in the next room over. “Stop it!” I urged in a hushed voice.

  “Wake up and talk to me and I will.”

  “Fine. Fine! I’m up!” His hands retreated and my eyes fluttered as they adjusted to the morning light glowing through the cream and black toile drapery. I rubbed my face a few times before really looking at him, fairly certain I looked an absolute mess. That was one benefit to him leaving so early most mornings. He rarely got to see the lovely morning hair I typically rocked.

  Hitched up on his elbow, Robert grinned at me, surely paying notice to every lock of hair that came loose from my ponytail. I yanked on the rubber band and released my hair, shaking the tangles free and fully embracing the bed head look he loved. His hand reached out and landed on my hip, his thumb gently stroking back and forth. With that tantalizing grin and the way he stared me down, that look was just wicked.

  All right, not wicked. Incredibly sexy. But I promise there was something dirty going on in that head of his.

  “Happy?” I muttered, still a little cranky over losing my sleepy haze.

  “Always.” Leaning in, his lips gently brushed mine a few times. “Good morning.”

  Yeah, right. “It’s morning, but you’re gonna have to give me a few minutes to wake up and consider it a good thing.”

  “Fair enough.”

  I twisted my body and glanced at the French-inspired clock on the wall behind me. Eight-thirty. I whined as I rolled back.

  “What?”

  “Sophie made an appointment at eleven for some wedding shop in town.”

  “You have to make an appointment for that?”

  I chuckled. Boys. So clueless sometimes. “Yes, Robert. Especially when you wanna try on dresses on a crazy day like Black Friday.”

  “How long is that going to take?”

  “I don’t know. Knowing Sophie and her inability to make a decision quickly, it’ll take all day, several shops over the course of several weeks, and probably then some.”

  He groaned dramatically. “Can’t you spend the day with me? We hardly see each other anymore.”

  “You can come with me,” I teased in a sing-song voice.

  His forehead furrowed and I could already sense the answer his brain was concocting. “Sorry. I’m not allowed to see the bride’s dress before the wedding.”

  “That only applies to the groom, not the best man.”

  “Transference. Sorry. Wouldn’t want to risk bad luck against their marriage.”

  I snorted, and we lay there for a moment, silently smiling as his fingers lightly stroked back and forth between my thigh and waist. It was sweet, but I couldn’t help but think about the rut we’d been in. He was right about our schedules not blending. We may share the same apartment, but our days were spent apart ‘cause we attended separate schools. He went to Yale and me the community college.

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Robert’s father was a favored alumnus of Yale and could’ve gotten me on a list to get in even though I didn’t apply, but I politely turned him down. Yeah, crazy me. Robert would’ve paid, and even though we were pretty serious, I just didn’t feel right about that if we weren’t engaged or married. He already paid for our room and board, which was more than enough. Bless him; he knew I had some money in the bank from my previous job, but he wouldn’t let me use it. And his money tree seemed to go up higher than Jack’s beanstalk. Luckily, I managed to earn a scholarship that covered the cost of my school and books, so money-wise, I was pretty much in limbo. At least until I went to a major university, then I’d probably have to accept help to cover the cost.

  I had my heart set on Rutgers, which really wasn’t that far from Yale, but we’d either have to live in the middle of a two and half hour drive or one of us would have to travel to continue living together. Or live apart, but we weren’t discussing that option yet, though his mean old mother would sure approve of the separation. Yeah, even though Robert said she’d eventually warm up to me, she still hadn’t. She tolerated me, but continually pointed out my faults and mistakes.

  Needless to say, if we weren’t seeing much of each other now, it was only gonna get worse. And our relationship had suffered a little bit ‘cause of it. And it made me worry about what would happen if we had to split homes to finish out college. Long distance relationships were hard, even with two years under the belt like we had. As much as we loved each other, who’s to say some unexpected person wouldn’t come along and change our lives forever?

  But that was tomorrow’s problem. ‘Cause today I had the love of my life lying before me, gently soothing me, trying to tempt me into staying within his arms.

  “Do you think we’re boring?” I asked.

  “No. Why? Do you?”

  “I don’t know. But Sophie and Jhett have been together as long as we have, and they couldn’t keep their hands off one another last night.” Not to mention the ruckus we heard through the wall when we went to bed later. “When’s the last time we did that?”

  “Grope in public?” he replied sarcastically. “We’ve never really done that. Besides, they just announced their engagement so they’re feeding off the high. You and I aren’t boring, we’re comfortable.” He tilted my chin towards him. “There’s nothing wrong with comfortable,” he added, gingerly kissing my lips for a few seconds.

  I grinned like an idiot and said, “That was nice.”

  To his surprise, I pecked one last kiss on the lips, threw the covers off and slid out of his grasp before he could stop me. “Hey!”

  “Sorry, lover boy. Gotta get ready. Maid of honor duty calls.” I scurried across the room, the chill stabbing my skin like needles, and closed the bathroom door behind me. Slipping out of my pink silk shorts and camisole, I stepped into the gi
ant walk-in shower and hit the button for a perfect one hundred and six degrees. I loved this shower. A section of the ceiling was devoted to a rainforest downpour, and I could just stand under it forever. It coated every possible inch of my body all at once; so warm and cozy.

  I stood there and drenched myself for at least two minutes before I felt his hands slide across my stomach and his lips kiss a delicate trail down my neck. Mmm… It was impossible not to smile.

  “Just couldn’t stay in bed, could ya’?”

  “Like you weren’t going to just stand here for thirty minutes anyway. Weren’t you the one that just asked if we were boring? I can’t think of the last time we actually shared a shower together.”

  “That’s ‘cause someone always showers at the pool after practice.” Yeah, I totally just went there again, and I paid for it dearly now that all my ticklish spots were exposed and completely at his mercy.

  “Jenna!” Sophie shouted for about the thirtieth time – good thing we were the only ones in the boutique today. I returned the frilly white dress in my hands to the rack and made my way back to the dressing lounge. She turned away from the wall of floor-to-ceiling mirrors, a hopeful smile on her face, in a dress that was strapless with a beaded sweetheart neckline and a tulle skirt that tiered all the way down.

  “What do you think?” she asked excitedly, swishing the dress side to side in a flirty manner.

  “Uh…well…” Her smile faded a bit, and the sales lady – excuse me, Personal Bridal Specialist - next to her looked ready to kill me when I began muttering those words of negativity. Like the other twenty dresses Sophie had already tried on, Sarah, a.k.a. Little Miss I Don’t Wanna Be Here, had already convinced her how fabulous she looked in it, trying to persuade her to purchase every freakin’ dress so she could cash in a sale and go home already. And yes, Sophie looked pretty in all of them. The girl could make a trash bag look stylish, all right? But I promised I would help her find something spectacular. Pretty just wasn’t gonna cut it.

  “It makes your hips look really poofy.”

  Sarah sighed sharply and began tapping her French manicured nails, embellished with silly cubic zirconias, against her hipbone. Yeah, she totally hated me. For every dress she’d talked Sophie into loving, I’d turned around and said something to make her hate it. Maybe if Sarah would release the super tight chignon she had her platinum blonde locks pulled back in, she’d relax a bit. “It’s supposed to be poofy. That’s the style.”

  “Yeah, I know. But it’s too poofy. It makes it seem like it’s Sophie’s hips doing the poofing, and not the dress itself.”

  “Too poofy,” Sophie repeated disappointedly.

  “Too poofy,” I whispered back.

  She slowly disappeared behind the curtain. Frustrated, Sarah forced a smile, but I wasn’t blind. I saw the wish of death behind those eyes. I sighed and returned to the sales floor. We’d been here for four hours and we were all starting to get a little grumpy. Well, Sophie and I were. Sarah was grumpy to begin with. And I totally get she’s annoyed to be here the day after Thanksgiving, which was why I hadn’t bitten her head off…yet.

  I picked up where I left off at the rack. But now I was less agreeable to the dresses I looked at. Some I would have pulled an hour ago for her to try on, but now, I could see the flaws without her even having to bother. Too fairytale, too long of a train, not enough train, ridiculous looking sequins, too revealing. I had to have swished at least thirty dresses to the side before I found it. Something about it just demanded my attention. It was different than the others, more…Sophie-esque. Classy and elegant, yet fun and flirty at the same time.

  “Hey, Sophie!” I called as I entered the lounge again. She and Sarah had already come back out in another dress, and another one I would’ve been negative towards. I mean, seriously, the bodice tied in the back like a corset. “I know you said you have your heart set on white, but…” She gasped the moment I held it out before me, her eyes practically bulging, and that giddy smile came back to life.

  “Oh my God! That is gorgeous! Give me that!” she burst, waving her hands erratically.

  Sarah’s beady eyes lit up, and she was quick to add encouragement as I passed it over. “This has both alencon and charmeuse laces, and it’s got the chapel train length you wanted, Sophie.”

  “It’s an eight, but it looks like it could be sized down to a six easily enough,” I added.

  “Of course it can! We have a fabulous seamstress on staff that’ll give you the perfect fit.” All excited to have me on board for one of the dresses, Sarah practically snatched the dress from Sophie and pushed her behind the curtain again, completely forgetting about the dress we had yet to assess.

  When they reappeared, Sophie meekly smiled at me before she turned to face the mirror. Her face lit up, and she made like five circles, checking out every single little detail from every possible angle. It was a strapless floor length lace dress with a five inch taupe sash tied around the waste and a train that trailed about three feet behind her.

  “Oh, wow.” I didn’t realize it until this moment, but the white dresses had been washing the color out of Sophie’s face, making her look dull and plain under this lighting. But now, with the ivory, her complexion seemed to glow, her auburn hair finally blending smoothly with the color draped over her soft, dewy skin.

  “Oh, Sophie,” I cooed, my hands caressing my cheeks.

  “Yeah?” she asked, her eyes eager.

  “Yeah.”

  “It looks fantastic on you. Stunning,” Sarah added, adjusting the train in the back. She tightened the excess material around Sophie’s chest to the back, so we could get a better idea of the fit. Luckily, it wouldn’t have to come in too much in that department, and even the waist wouldn’t need much altering.

  Sophie bobbed up in down with excitement, her hands clasped over her chest, securing the slightly loose fit. “Oh, let’s get it!”

  Whoa. My hands automatically went out before me in surrender. “Wait. Are you sure?” I ignored the death glare coming off the blonde as I stepped closer to Sophie. “This is our first store. We haven’t even looked at bridal magazines yet. You sure you don’t wanna try a few more shops first? I mean, this is big. This dress costs more than a semester at school.”

  “I’m sure. This is the one I want.” I must have flashed her some doubt, ‘cause she quickly added, “Look, I’m sure there are other dresses out there that I’m gonna love just as much, maybe even more. But we already found one that I adore, so why make it complicated by finding three more to choose over? I love this one, and I’m still gonna love it when it’s wedding time. I promise.” She even gave me what was an attempt of Scout’s Honor with two fingers, but accidentally crossed her fingers like you would for good luck. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that the symbol she was trying to use was for the boys.

  “Alright,” I seceded. “Just making sure.”

  Sophie twirled and sashayed in the dress a bit longer before finally letting Sarah take it to the back. Sophie was gonna have to come back on a day when the seamstress was here to get proper measurements, so there was no point in taking it home just yet. Besides, Jhett was there and Sophie wanted it to be a surprise on their wedding day. Not that she believed in that old superstition or anything. She just loved all sorts of surprises, even when they weren’t directed at her.

  I felt ten times lighter the moment we stepped outside the boutique, and I was sure Sarah let out a sigh of relief too before realizing she had all those dresses to hang and return to the racks. Heh heh. Now I didn’t feel too bad that Sophie tried on a zillion of those today.

  We crashed into the cushioned booths at the bistro. My feet were miserable and I wasn’t even the one that had to lug around heavy dresses in high heels. I ordered a caprese salad and iced tea. With her wedding dress fresh on her mind, Sophie ordered a house salad with vinaigrette and iced water, and left all the garlic bread sticks for me to eat. Awesome.

  Manically oohing and ahhi
ng over her dress and the ideas she had for the reception, it wasn’t until she had a mouth full of salad that I was able to verbally join the conversation. “So about this whole maid of honor stuff. I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Aren’t there a bunch of things I’m responsible for?”

  “Yeah. I think you’re supposed to be involved with planning things like the shower and bachelorette party and stuff, but I really don’t know either. We’ll ask my mom about that when we get back. Or my cousin, Dana. She’s been one before.”

  Thank God. I really didn’t wanna do anything to screw up Sophie’s wedding.

  “So my wedding’s gonna be in July.”

  “Mmm-hmm.” I nodded, still chewing on a garlic stick.

  She pointed her fork at me and poked the air a few times. “That means July is off limits to you. I don’t care which month you choose for your wedding, but not July.”

  I gasped, and practically choked as the bread got stuck in my throat. Say what? “Excuse me?”

  Sophie ignored me, too lost in her own thoughts as she dreamily added, “I could totally picture you getting married in the fall. All those gorgeous fall colors to work with. October would be so perfect for you.”

  Now that I’d had time to clear my throat, I began waving my hands. One, to break the crazy lady’s daze. Two, because erratic hand waving was all I could think to do.

  “What the heck are you talking about? Robert and I are not getting married yet.”

  “Oh please.” She waved me off and stabbed another section of salad. “We both know Robert is always one step behind Jhett when it comes to our relationships. He’s totally gonna ask you now. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s out ring shopping right now.” She cocked her eyes suggestively and smiled before taking another bite of her salad.

  Seriously? Could he be doing that? He always did seem to follow Jhett’s lead, albeit a little slower. Where Sophie and Jhett were on the fast track to get there, Robert and I had always been a little more comfortable falling back. Slow and steady wins the race, you know?